As I was going through the process, I remembered a scene from when I was very young, 4-5??. I can't even remember what I was watching, some grey scale nude video, what I do remember is enjoying the video very much, and my mom(i think) suddenly barging in and getting really angry at me, making it wrong to have sexual desires, constantly reinforced by online activity. What I didn't know at the time, is that it'll set me up to believe that being a pervert is wrong, even though I've learnt through my teenage years that it is actually quite common, so from then on, subconsciously, I did a lot to mask the fact that I was normal. By having so many normal interactions especially with attractive girls, being so close to them, yet not having sex with them, I could prove that very old wound wrong, that I actually was not a pervert, and a normal person. What I didn't realize, is that by trying to...