I have made pornography wrong, made my addiction wrong, so I basically created a self-fulfilling prophecy of my self-demise. I pretended to be okay, to be better than the downfalls of pornography shown in school, when in fact, im hiding my darkest secret and the one I am unwilling to share to others because I think it will destroy me if I were to share it. However, that very fact made me act in exactly the way publicly, so that I repel many good people and mostly bring in bad ones instead. I wanted to quit pornography, but this prophecy made me want to watch more pornography, which makes me regret it more, and so on and so on. And when I tried to get over my addiction, I still make it wrong, which is why it feels weird when I don't feel the urge and I just give in(I make it wrong again). So now, I'll just accept the fact that I feel it, but try my best not to act on it