through the process, i was led back to how much i always thought that whatever i did was not enough, because my mom would always ask me to do more housework or do it better, just because "it didnt meet her standard". that also goes for when i am not really doing anything. i didnt realize for a long time that the things my mom have told me have bled into my thinking of always thinking that anything i do is never enough, in terms of self-improvement, studying for a levels last year, learning information to achieve self-actualization, going on adventures to experience new things. as such, i was never happy with myself, and then i resorted to social media, video games, and pornography to kill the emotions. perhaps at the time i also became overstimulated to make myself think i was doing many things, when because i was doing too much, i achieved nothing now that i know im...
